i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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