i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
