are you still at the devil's house?
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
