You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
