I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
