just come out here and I will go home with you...
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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