if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Randomize
