Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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