dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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