There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
