Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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