D3 body, D1 cock
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
