I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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