I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Green mimosas i think yes
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
