I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
