They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
