Best friends brother. Beat that.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
