How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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