Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
