Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
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