Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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