No more Irish car bombs ever.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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