I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
The beer is more important than you right now.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
