8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
