he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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