Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
