I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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