So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
