He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
