he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
