Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
