S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
