very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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