No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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