guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I wear drunk well.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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