Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
