If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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