C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
