Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME