Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"