all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I lost the right to judge tonight
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
