even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize
