Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
