I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
