I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
