You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
