Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
If I die, sorry about rent.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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