it hurts more in the daytime
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
