those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
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