Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
