My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
