New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
