Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
