i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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