I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
