You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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