Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
