We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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