The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
