but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
