its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
