Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize