I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
