Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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